In the Dark

My sister shared a link to a blogpost.  As I read it, I understood everything the author wrote - because I have been in that same dark place.  As I read it God reminded me of this blog I started a year and a half ago.  Reminded me of His prodding for me to write, to tell my story.    Let me start with an excerpt:

After about an hour I came across (I was tempted to say stumbled, but we all know that isn’t true at all) an article on a particular type of bird. It wasn’t a Christian reference, but rather a zoological-type book with statistics and pictures for someone who knows much more about birds than I do.

I skimmed it until I came across a sentence that explained how this certain type of bird learned how to sing. I didn’t finish reading it before the tenderness overcame me.

“And this particular bird cannot learn to sing in the daylight because it is always concerned with the chatter around it. Instead, its cage must be covered so that it is in complete darkness. Then, it is able to hear its master and will learn to sing…”

More than a sparrow.

More than the pitch-black-darkness.

He loves me.

And in that place of feeling left alone, unwanted, disregarded, abandoned, He whispered to my weary soul;

Sing, love.

In the black night, I listened to His voice and I heard Him in a way I never had before. I stopped trying to focus on the silhouettes around me, panicked and desperate for my bearings. I accepted the fact that it might be a long while before I knew where I was and how to find my way back. Slowly, I started to believe that He treasured me enough to trust my voice in the dark. Nobody watching, nobody to judge.

Just me and the One Who told me I was worth it.

I cry as I read and write.  Cry as I remember God’s tenderness when I was in my darkest moments.  Remembering that when I was standing silent in the darkness He was watching over me. He didn’t allow me even a small night light, just pitch blackness.   He needed me to learn things that only those dark moments could teach.  I needed to trust - trust that He truly calls me His daughter, that He truly loves me every minute of every day.  That I am not one He puts aside and ignores because I haven’t acted right, said the right things or been the ‘good girl’.  I am the one whom He disciplines with kindness; who He hears, acknowledges and answers.  I am His beloved - not because of what I’ve done but because of who He is!

So, His prodding for me to tell my story...am I ready to do that for all eyes to see...honestly I am not sure.  Now that I have remembered this forgotten blog, maybe. Maybe this is where I will finally let the story be told???

Click on the link below to read the entire post of the excerpt above.
Sparrow