Goodbyes

    I have been pretty crabby the last several days.  John put his hands on my shoulders, got close to my face and asked, “Do you need to go away for a couple of days?”  I laughed, he laughed. I love how he can always make me laugh.
    Asking God why I was being the way I was, He reminded me - it’s the goodbyes.  From an early age my life has been full of them.  I was thinking through the best friends I have had. A year with one in this school, a year with one in that school, 3 years with this one, 4 years with that one before a goodbye came. Due to a move, due to a change in schools or to life just moving on and paths going separate ways.
    The first best friend I remember loosing was the one I had the longest.  She and I met when I was in 2nd and she in 3rd.   We bonded almost immediately.  Although we rarely talked about it, we both shared the experience of loosing our daddies to an accident.  We both had large blended families and we just ‘got’ each other.
     We went to a small Christian school where we were in the same classroom until she was in 7th and I was in 6th. And that was the last year we were best friends.  The next year I was pulled out to homeschool and our lives just parted.  The weekend sleepovers started dying off, phone calls went days longer, until it was months before we had spoken.
    This trend has extended from childhood to adulthood and the goodbyes continue.  College friends and others from all the different cities and states and countries where John and I have lived.  God knew that He had called me to missionary life long before I was even born.  He knew I needed the ‘classroom’ time of goodbyes as a child before He put me on the 'field assignment’ as an adult. He knew that I would need to know what it felt like as a child so that I could know what my kiddos are going through.
     Watching my kids constantly going through goodbyes - this is the part of missions that i do NOT like, but who does?  Abigail and Rebekah had a class project this week.  They had to pick a song about their life.  Abi’s song:

If This World by Jaci Velasquez

Do you feel you’ve been disowned, Left outside in the cold and without a home? Do you think that no one cares That you’re lost and alone and without a prayer? Don’t give into the lie that there’s no one you can turn to. Don’t lose heart, there is hope, There is someone who will never desert you, oh. If this world is a lonely place for you, Fall into the arms of love. If this world is a lonely place for you, There’s a God who you can trust, Who’ll comfort you and lift you up. Are you looking for a friend Who will stand by your side to the very end? Someone who is always true to his word, Be assured he won’t turn from you. Put your faith in the one who will never let you down. He has proven his love. Open up to all he has for you now, oh. If this world is a lonely place for you, Fall into the arms of love. If this world is a lonely place for you, There’s a God who you can trust, Who’ll comfort you and lift you up. He hears your cry, he sees your tears, He knows your pain and all your fears. He waits for you with open arms, He longs to live inside your heart. You’ll never be alone again. If this world is a lonely place for you, Fall into the arms of love. If this world is a lonely place for you, There’s a God who you can trust, Who’ll comfort you and lift you up.     We were listening to the song on the way to school this morning and my silent prayer was, “Oh Lord! May they always know that YOU are their true friend and constant companion that will never leave them nor forsake them. May they always go running to your comforting arms when they are lonely or sad.” And then the song that our Sweet Sweet Bekah Girl chose came on:   Got to be True by Steven Curtis Chapman Well normally at this point you'd hear me sing And I'd be doing that acoustic guitar thing So by now you're probably wondering what's going on 'Cause this is really starting to sound like one of those rap songs Well let me tell you what the boy's up to You see I like rap music and the beat box groove And sometimes I gotta admit I close all the doors And wave my arms around and I pace the floor But then I crack up laughing, I gotta stop And just face the facts the boy don't hip hop You see I grew up in a state where the grass is blue So if it's gonna be believable it's got to b tru CHORUS: It's got to b tru I've gotta be living what I say I believe It's got to b tru even when nobody but Jesus is watching me It's got to b tru every single minute of every day If anybody's ever gonna look at me and say hey it's got to b tru You hear me saying that it's got to b tru And no my homeboy Toby wants to talk to you Tru check it out I got a next door neighbor And I can tell he's been watching my behavior Yo he's heard that I'm a Christian guy He wants to know if that's the truth or a lie He's got a list of reasons not to believe Like doubt, dissolution, hypocrisy It's gonna take some living proof to break through those walls Yea, it's got to b tru if he'll believe at all

    That girl is going to be who she is no matter where she is.  And one thing we can always be assured of, she will laugh at herself and get us laughing at the same time. I guess she got that from her daddy!
  
    Still crabby? Maybe a little.  I’m missing those that I have had to say goodbye to recently; Katie who went home to be with Jesus 7 weeks ago today and the McCanns who just returned permanently to the States. However, I am thanking God for friends that He has given me here in La Ceiba; my Bible Study Group Ladies, one of whom I get to spend lots of time with on our 5:30am walks (and who reminds me ALOT of my 2nd-6th grade best friend and who I have ALOT in common with!). Lastly, I am anticipating with great joy the ‘hellos’ that are to come soon; the return of the Pettengills from furlough and the arrival of our new teammate Shannon.