It’s the hardest job I have ever done, am doing or ever will do. It’s not just that there are four of them (born all in 3 years time). It’s that John and I are responsible for their mental, physical and spiritual well-being adn that is humbling and scary.
I can be lazy. I don’t want to take the time to discipline. It’s easy to let them sit in front of the tv instead of playing a game with them; throw quick and easy food at them instead of putting more thought and effort into what’s going in their mouths; sleeping in a few extra minutes instead of insuring we have prayer before they leave for school. It takes time - and effort.
John and I have been going through the study Shepherding a Child’s Heart. It’s been amazing. Yet, sometimes heartbreaking and overwhelming. God is so good though. He knew we needed a little encouragement because our last session was all about playing catch-up. Not beating yourself up cause there are changes that need to be made from not doing it right the first time. Giving each other and the kids grace as the changes are being implemented.
We also are implementing food changes. Yep, we’ve gone gluten free. Mostly for Bek and Evan’s sake, but I think we all are going to benefit from this new diet. But, it’s just one more added ‘chore’ - one more thing telling me I can’t be lazy. And it plain just goes against the way I like to bake and cook! I hate measuring, reading recipes, and being precise. When I make...err...MADE bread, I just dumped all the ingredients together and mixed until it looked right. Yep, a whole lot more thought is going to be required for this new gluten-free-loves-to-bake-mama.
But, it’s worth it. It’s worth the early mornings and late nights. It’s worth it to see my boys tell my girls in the morning, “I love you and you’re beautiful”, it’s worth it to see my girl who struggles so much in school come home and sit down on her own and get her school work accomplished. It’s worth it to ENJOY sitting in the evenings and have family worship.
Are John and I perfect...nope! Are our kids perfect....haha, nope! Do we always do the above mentioned...nope! But, we are trying. We are changing. We are growing.
I am being a mom!